Choosing Between Right and Easy
by thefinalfritter
Summary: Oneshot. Angst, Post HBP, Snape reflects over his life and what he’s done. Its short so take the time to read it!
1. The Decision

AN: Angst, Post HBP, Snape reflects over his life and what he's done. Its short so take the time to read it!

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It is a wizard's responsibility to do what is best for his fellow wizards. I have been trying to do that for nearly twenty years now. If only I knew what was best, maybe my job would come a little easier.

I sigh and slide off my lumpy hotel bed in muggle London, padding softly out the sliding door onto the balcony. I love the view from the balcony. As I lean over the wooden railing, the sun is only just rising, and the reddish tint in the sky burns a beautiful picture into my mind.

I didn't want to be put into this position. The only man I was ever able to consider a father was killed just three months ago - by me. It was a great tragedy and many people were devastated, yet I don't think any were more devastated than I. Now I am considered a traitor with nowhere else to turn, but to the evil side I've been fighting against for so many years. I didn't want to kill him, but this is war; I had no choice.

As the sun rays strike and warm my face, I gaze down at the busy streets of the capital city from my fourth story window. I am wrapped in my wizarding robes, and a few passersby stop and stare for a few moments before going back to their business. Draco will knock on my door any minute now, and he will want to discuss the Dark Lord's most recent plans with me.

In those three months since I have left Hogwarts, my status has gone from greasy git to murderous traitor. Everyday I battle aurors on my tail, try to keep Draco in line, and continue to spy for Voldemort, while I attempt to keep my dignity and do what is best for everyone, and I am still losing.

The smell of exhaust and noise of a busy city are invading my senses, but to me it is the most beautiful day I have experienced in a long time. An owl flies past me into the room and drops a letter on my bed, but I ignore it. I sigh again. If only I knew what to do or what is right. The only person who can help me to understand is dead now. If only. I just want to do what is best for everybody, so I take a step forward, and I jump.

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AN: Erm, this is actually a variant on a paper I did for English class so if you've heard this story in your English class before you know who I am. Otherwise, I thought it fit Severus rather well. I was thinking of a couple different ways I could continue this but I'm just leaving it one-shot for now. If I do continue thought, it'd be SS/HG. Tell me what you think!


	2. The Letter

AN: Could still be a continuation or end to the story. Thought I'd let you read the letter.

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As cars zoomed hastily down the city streets of London and pedestrians hurried to their morning jobs, nobody noticed a small, spotty brown owl glide gracefully overhead. Neither, did the tall pale man dressed completely in black, standing outside the window of his fourth floor hotel room, gazing blankly at the sun. Parco, an insignificant Hogwarts owl, sailed down and rustled softly past the ominous form of Severus Snape, into his hotel room to light softly on the bed.

Noting that the letter's recipient was unlikely to come untie the small letter from his leg, he shook it vigorously, until his foot came loose and he was relieved. Not expecting a food reward from such an entranced individual he stretched his wings and turned to fly out.

The man was gone.

Such disappearances weren't uncommon in the wizarding world, Parco knew. Wizards apparated away all the time. Apparently, the man hadn't wanted to read his letter, but Parco wasn't worried. Whenever the man came back, he would read his letter then. Fawkes had sent him with explicit instructions to deliver the letter and he had done his job. Now he was hungry.

Parco kicked off and flew up and out of the room, straight back to Hogwarts without ever looking back.

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The lone letter sat quietly on the bed, its charms protecting it from being read by anyone other than the intended recipient. But now that recipient was gone. Had he stayed a few moments longer to pause and read his mail, this is what he would have seen.

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Severus Snape,

As you probably already know, this letter has been sealed and bound by powerful magic that few are familiar with so that I know you are the true recipient of this letter. It also bears my mark so you know that it really truly is from me.

If you have received this letter, then it means that I am gone. I had this letter arranged during what will most likely be a few months before my death, and left strict orders with Fawkes of when and whom to have it mailed to.

I sincerely hope that I am gone by the circumstances we discussed many times over, that you, Severus, were the one to kill me, and not young Draco. Please, Severus, do not glower. I will not argue with you any more, not even from death. What you did was necessary and completely honorable in my eyes.

So let me tell me why I have composed this letter. The first reason is because I know you. I know that without some light encouragement from your former mentor, you are most likely sulking and dwelling on what has happened. The side of the light does not need you to be operating at anything other than excellent right now, even if they don't realize it yet. Your time of recognition will come Severus. It won't be dark forever. Trust me.

The second reason is that I know something that you don't. Do you really believe that I would leave this world completely and totally unprepared for my death and the after-effects of all involved? As you read this letter at this very moment, there should be somebody out there receiving a similar letter, one that will hopefully help your situation considerably. So don't give up yet. I haven't forgotten about you.

Hopefully this letter reaches you in good conditions. I trust you haven't gotten discovered by Voldemort, captured by aurors, or what would be worst of all, done something dangerous to yourself. Do not scowl, Severus. You and I both know how guilty and self-destructive you can get.

Now I am done writing about necessary business. Please be patient and wait for your time. Trust me, that I have left somebody to help you.

The last thing I want to tell you Severus, is thank you. It is something I never had time to do as much as I would have liked. Thank you for serving the right side for so many years. Thank you for being faithful to me always and teaching what you would consider dunderheads all along the way. Thank you for being the closest thing I could call to a son. Thank you doing what you had to do.

Enclosed is a package of lemon drops. Hopefully, it will remind you of me and most of all, why you need to keep fighting. Please permit an old man to be sentimental-I love you Severus - do not give up.

Your friend,

Albus Dumbledore

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AN: So do you like? Hopefully its fairly in character. Tell me what you think!


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